Peeps!


Esther Zhen

let it be........

i'll be taking SPM this year@2009.After the exam,i'm finally graduate in my secondary level. I even planned what i'm study the next! college is definitely, i'm going! I do have lotsa ambitions, air-stewardess,event marketing,interior designer etc.These are all i planned to go to! National service may not happened to me i guess. Cuz my bro went 2 years ago.I really beg it will not happen to me.Pls..! There have 3 months hols for me while waiting my result instead of going the national service.Mom is planning some courses for me.The Japanese Language and the British Council young adult sub.I needs to improve my languages. I'm not that confident while i'm speaking.So, i needs the courses to gain my confident.=) yea~ some more, i wish i could learn scuba-diving which i wish for years with my best mates.She really loves it as well as me! She hope she could live in an island peacefully while waiting her SPM result.( the Capri Island-lol~)

Being stressful this few weeks. This really ruin me up! Exam totally screwed me up too!! I know i have to settle it but I'm really felt depressed of it as well as my mate. I told her everything about my family,friends even the G**. My tears burst out from my eye when I'm trying to tell her.Both of us cry while we told each other our sadness. We do share our sadness to each other.Cuz both of us know each other since we were very young. After exam, finally i'm released! Guess what?!
something happened badly to me again.

family
Usually people said that I'm a very lucky girl.I have a warm family. 4 family members,dad ,mom, bro and me.I still remembered ,we used to travel alot since I'm young.Dad is a businessman.He helps my uncles to manage the family business. LEE's family ,It's a big family.I do have lotsa cousins.But we are not close to each other.I seldom chat with em'.I'm kinda arrogant in my family members.So?! Part of my family members were migrated to London.But we still keep in touch to each other with my msn.Back to my mom's side.It's a small family.2 brothers, 2sisters include my mom. Eventually,my mom was a pet daughter.My grandma was not the real mummy to my mom.But they were loving.My aunts and her family had migrated to Sydney,Australia.Where she found her mr.right at there when she study abroad to overseas.Bout my own family now.My brother was 2 years elder than me.we are totally different character . Guess what?! he's tall,i'm short.He's dark,i'm damn fair.He's thin,i'm Fat( being thin this year .lol~) His friends told me that he's being famous in school.He do act like gangster.That's what i hate! I don't like guys fighting.But he's a good basketball player.He get rewards as MVP almost every year.And this makes me proud as well! my parents pampered him when he was young,Till now,he was like a "useless" guy and being influenced by his friends.And now, my parents being strict to me.They don't want me to be same as my bro being useless.They want me to perfect and even judge my friends ! This is ridiculous!!! I'm not ur pet or ur things.I'm a human, I have sense of human. Can't u just give me freedom?! I'm sick of this family.Staying at home,doing ntg instead of on9ing as this is what i can do ??!!! Other than going school or tuition, i have no chance to popped with my chuck! I'm not a rich girl , as my friends always judge me ! I'm from a middle class family. My dad loves me and my bro so much. i knew that! He can sacrifice everything for us. and i love u too!!!! But i don't dare to tell in front of u! And i hates my mom. She force me to do anything that i don't wish to do! But sometimes she treats me good! it's complicated. But i won't border what she done to me.she's my mom.she gave birth to me.As a daughter,i need to treat her good as well. =) Dad usually being "king" outside, and being "kong" in da house.(i guess some of u knw what m i trying to say)This 's b'cuz he needs to support her wife.Thanks for my mate ! she told me that my dad loves me so much! i knew~ We can be a warm family.But we can be a "broken" family too! they love to quarrel alot as well as me. I do quarrel alot v my parents.But we used to it! Nothing special when we quarrel.lol~
*p/s: i do care ppl gossip bout my family.Even though i hate em'!!


friends
I admit that i have lotsa friends. For me, i treat my friends good when they treat me me good.For the bad one, i treat em' good too! I don't like to quarrel.So, just be peacefully. and your world will be peaceful too! But some kind of rumors may enter to your life too! Ignore em' will get better for me. I love to gossip.And my friends love too!!! lalalala~ i won't border ppl gossip bout me. they have their rights! i won't get angry easily with my friends but only the close friends i'll ! no idea~ so, they usually said them i'm kinda "smallgas". To be frank, I'm not really yea. some of em' said that i'm kinda arrogant too!!! Oh no! sometimes i'll be arrogant, i admit! lol~ Mostly b'cuz i'm in a bad mood. Sry ya~ yes!!!!! i love to cry.I don't know why?! Maybe this's the way to express my emotion.I cry b'cuz of my friends.I used to cry every year in school.Err....embarass! i do loves my friends.They know me very well. I have no secret with em'. I tell everything to em'.
gosh! my p&c.........lost! i won't care bout that.I'm not that strong as my friends told me and i'm not confident . But they support me every minutes ,seconds.
they were my most wanted!!!! SPM,SPM,SPM! we were still being crazy in class or anywhere. I really have lotsa fun with ur guys!!! I even dream when i die, how do my friends react?! But i could imagine it.I do have some friends same as me. Cry alot! hah! But i won't tell here. Guess...................

relationship
Being crush this year.It's kinda embarrassing...!!!C.R.A.P! At least i had tried before.yea! this was so complicated.But i wish to be peace. No worries.I prefer single now on.Friends really helps me alot. Luckily, both of ur guys include u accompany when i heard this news.Not a single tears came out from my eyes. This 's unexpectable. Friends thought that i can't accept the fact. They even thought i'll cry like hell!!! hah! nothing happened to me.=) i'm really fine! But i really fake a smile to em'. i really dunno how to react.I'm really feel sorry to u! Maybe u feel annoying when i said sorry. And this "sorry" will be the last word i said to u! good luck in ur SPM as well! =D