“Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional”

May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 August 2010 September 2010 October 2010 November 2010 December 2010 January 2011 February 2011 March 2011 April 2011 May 2011 June 2011 July 2011 August 2011 September 2011 October 2011 November 2011 December 2011 January 2012 February 2012 March 2012 April 2012 May 2012 June 2012 July 2012 August 2012 September 2012 November 2012 December 2012 April 2013 February 2014 March 2014



Time flies every single seconds,minutes,days. And I was thinking that was the last post. But it isn't till I found out myself. I thought it's all over but it's not. I couldn't breath when I open my eyes in the morning,there is no direction. Those feeling are so undescriable.

I wants to cry. But there is no tears going to roll down on my cheeks.
I wants to speak out, but there is no voice.


It's so painful in my heart. It's worse than others.
I never blame anyone..
Just smile and try to make myself happy :)

Yes. It's saturday night!Supposely there have a birthday party to attend, but due to the time crash on time with my tuition.So,I have to continue my studies of course.Hmpp... Yeah, my previous high schoolmates chill at my home after the party. There were quite a bunch of people,really get a shocked that we have been almost a month not seeing each other.


Yeap!I guess it's the high time to spread out all my shitty feelings that i suffered these weeks.It's so relief after all.You can't imagine like those feelings in past chilling with your high school babes.I feel so warm being together with them again.

What's the next. Camwhore of course.
the-unwanted-lidiat-bitches-ladies!















Oh yeah!! I've no idea what kind of lidiat post is it! HAH!
Headed to the *nearest* mamak stall to have a drink. Yes, the ever first we chill at there. Feeling awkward at first. But we like those windy atmosphere! Yeah...where you can actually talk loudly without fears. Waiters at there looks weird,yeah!











Yeah! she never act to be normal once.I've no idea, she likes doing silly face always. HAH!






Yes.I've to say that i'm totally relief! It's getting better and better after I'd a high time with my chicks.=)

YES. I met my high school babes again and they rock on in my house. Up-coming!



Oh peeps! I'm sorry without informing you guys that I've to close this blog for a moment. HAH! OK, due to some Private individual problem, I need to. I'm in a serious depression that really ruin my emotion and whatever Fuck it is. But, now I'm getting over it.I think I'm so fine now. =) yes, I am, I am back now.


Every single day is a hard day for me.And every single night, it's a sleepless night. Even it hunt into my dream causes me insomnia.Yeap,I'm in lowest debt these days. I've to feel thankful for those who really accompany me to go through these days. Yes, you guys really .......! And yea,you guys makes me feel stronger.

I have not much to say about past.I believe in fate. =) let it decide everything.

oh yeah oh yeah. I have lots things have to share out. hehe! Lots post that i have owed to post it.I headed to my form teacher house in weeks before. HAH!yea, weeks before. It's exactly fun,but i miss the chance to try those foods.No worries.






yeap. Acting to be expert in guitar.Unfortunately, I'm not at all. HAH!I always wish to have a chance to rock on electronic guitar.


Next,the nike run!Oh yeah, I mean most of them will 100% of them was thinking that the coupun of nike,50% for any item.OMFGGG!! it's a just a wrist band. Yeap, it's 10km!! Killing my life,but I just thought of walking instead of running like hell, as you know that you couldn't make it. HAH! But still, I did run for few kilometres.Oh yeahh... It's so tiring half way. Friends told me that my face getting pale and one kind hearted citizen who actually offered me a drink. Yes! He's so kind. =) I have to thanks to sabrinaa, fathurohman and wei wei who actually accompany me till the whole journey.They stop their footsteps even they can make it. I love you guys! ,














YES.hours later, I'm finally awake and stable.




Sorry for bringing lots troublesome.She is so tired and hungry after the run. =(


Guess what? I got a bunch of funny,crazy classmates. :D
We took some awesome lidiat pictures. We have nothing much to do, as pictures can be the flashback memories how days we pass by. =)
We took over 100 something in just an hour. HAH!








Yeap. someone is going to punch me to wake me up! :D



okok. I've a couple of boys in class who actually act to be a gay.
Yes. They are the one and only. =)





the horror us.




We smile, we laugh together. =))




pretend to study. But we aren't. HAH!




the girl from next door. She don't talk much but yet I've the topics with her. Yes, u can imagine how talkative am I. HAHA!!








the crazy us. =P



yes.! I'm going to get on higher =)

There is something which you can't forget.It might disappear awhile, in just a minute,second,day. Somebody can't forget in a second,perhaps some will just can forget in a year or longer. But still, it will appear in your mind and hunt your dream in everyday and night.

I try to be so strong and be happy.Putting on my smiley face and try to face everything. But why can't you just reply me? And yet giving me your Fucking face! I don't understand what's going on. I just want to be friends again,as you said so. But when i want to, you're me your face. You can talk so highly enjoy with your friends, why not me? I did something wrong to you?I'm sorry if I did something wrong to you on that day. I'm so sorry.


I've no idea. We're a very lovely couple in past, but why can't we just be friends after all? You want to break up, and so I force to let go.I let go because I want to set you freely cause I'm so loving you. I'm so hella hard to forget you!! And damn! I just want to have a talk,smile,laughing with you.


SOFT-HEARTED


I never hated you of leaving me, Maybe just once.I can forgive everything you did to me.Cause I hate to be an enemy instead of friends.We, can't forget everything.


Dudes,I'm hardy breath right now.I know how is the pain right now.But the fear of letting you go is greater than the pain of holding on. But, I swear I won't force you anymore to love me.



*P/s: promise are always a promise, Lilian.

This songs might suit what's on your mind.Oh.. hella!






Perhaps this suits me. Eminem...! U're rock my mind.




And yet.I'm so sickening of listening these LOVE songs.Whenever I listen to it, eneded up will be a piece of wet face which contains lonely tears rolling down.




I'm sorry for what I did today. I'm too out of mind with you. I'm really sorry :( Please, I know I hurt you too.I'm sorry....... I won't force you to do things you don't like again. You hate to see me right? Maybe I should dissapear one day.And that's your lucky day-ever!! Don't worry, the day will come soon.

I know whatever I say will not go into your mind.You will never listen what am I crapping anymore.That's fine! Cause that's your own mind,heart. Everything is yours. I can't care about you anymore.

*p/s: Everything I advice you, it's for your own good.Of course, no one want to lead you in negative.Okay...


Please keep everything we have.I don't have rights call you to do so.But I really hope that.Sorry for my annoyed.Yeap, and I'm always that.



A biatch who annoyed you always.


Study hard and forget everything :)
Find a girl who is better than me.Understanding you, will lead you happy forever.

Forget about our love ;
Forget our promises ;
Forget our memories.Yup! You're doing so.


Between.... My promise always keep in my heart.
2 years as I told you. Again, I'm so annoyed.

Close your eyes if you hate to read it!

Okay. 2 days back I'm officially break up!


ellooo... of course, I'm so sick-to-dick! I don't really understand the whole story, I feel so complicated and twisting here and there about those reasons.There have millions of questions ran through my mind. But I think I don't have the rights or chance to get the answer. While, because I love him I choose to let go him to get himself freely and have some precious time. I love him, because I want him to be happy in his life as he choose to leave me.

Evey single seconds,minutes,hours,days that we spent together are unforgettable. And of course I appreciate it. I love being together with him.

We keep our love secretly. And I'm really sick of it. So, after I break up I decided to post everything in mind. I don't care what others think about.Cause that's my own simple mind. Love is blind and I have to admit it when I was falling in love with him.


I know the feeling of Love is so hurful. I rather you hurt my heart than you let go me. You hurts me because you love me, you leave me because you have given up.

But there is no chance of being hurt.
My life getting sucks now. =)


Honestly, I really hate you when you told me that you don't regret and feels sad when you leave me. I have no idea that why you can be so heartless to me. I was wondering is that all fake love in past. But you told me not, you do love me. But why you don't have those feelings of sad at all?


You call me to forget everything and find a better guy.I have to tell you, ain't a girl who can falling in love with other guys. How can i forget it? I can't....and I won't.

I will wait for you patiently. I keep my promise that I will and never flirt to other guys in this 2 years. I don't care what you do with other girls.Of course, I will be jealous of that. But you told me not to hurt me anymore, yet you want to flirt with other girls that really hurts me. But I will be strong and close an eye of what you're going to do soon.

2 years isn't a long period for me. But it's a long period to hold on your love. I've no idea why am i so strongly to have this decison. Or maybe that's the true love that I always love you no matter what happen.

Between. I need to give a damn fake smile to everyone to proove that I'm so hella fine! Honestly, I'm not at all. I'm hardly to be fine. But to let both of us to be flow, I need to do that no matter how hard is it to give a smile on my face.

I can't forget everything
I have sleepless night always
I cry whenver I think about you
I miss you
I want to hold on you
I need you
I cry when I'm posting this article
I have to be strong
I can wait for you
I love you.


You want to focus on your study. I know. So, I'll respect you! :):)

I love a guy who doesn't love me.














I'm so thankful for those who really concern about me. They really give me a warm hand always. Teachers, friends.......that always supports me. But no one can replace it except..........

Life is unpredictable.


Everything is gone and I can't get back anymore. Here it go, forever it go and no return back. Everything is arranged by the Almighty. Yes,It's the fact. I should accept it and get on my life. Words are easy to say, but it's hard to do. I can't smile and forget everything is done. I'm a human being and I do have feelings on what is going on.

I won't blame anyone or even have any hated.Cause there is no reason for me to do so.If I do, there is no return back too.


I wish my heart can change easily.Somehow,I can't... My heart is still here. I wish there will have another chance.But It's impossible and there is no love anymore.

I don't force to be loved and to love. So, everthing that he decide will be the end.

*p/s: I LOVE YOU. ( I'm trying hard,sorry.I need time)


Ever-Friends.

Forgive & forget;

Forgive my innocent act and forget everything in past